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The multiple blade pie in the sky. Part 2

Jaco Grobler

Remember when the twin blade cartridges for the big commercial company came out and the ads proclaimed that the first blade would lift and cut the hair, and the second would then cut it even closer before it would retract back under the skin? If you don't remember Van Halen, Led Zeppelin, Jennifer Rush, Duran Duran and Depeche Mode it was before you started shaving, and you should go ask your dad or granddad about this claim. 

Well, a couple of things bugs me about this 'science'. Lets start of by saying cutting the hair so short that it retracts back under the skin could lead to ingrown hair, razor bumps, rash and all sorts of nasties. This means the manufacturers prioritized 'a closer shave' over the well being of your face...Bummer.

Conundrum number two has to do with the progression from two, to three and more blades. Now, when there was one blade, instruction to it was simple; 'Do the job'. Two blades complicated things a bit more; Number 1, you lift and cut, number 2 you only cut, just a bit shorter. Now this is where things get a bit blurry, with the progression to three, four, five and six blades the corporates must have spent an enormous amount of money to produce intelligent cartridges and blades, as sharing the workload would imply thousands of 'decisions' being made over split seconds during the few minutes it takes to shave your face! All the blades seems to know exactly how and when to lift which hair so the guy behind you can cut it even shorter. I have huge respect for these blades as they are able to allocate, share and the distrubute the workload so effectively, that we have not seen a single dispute amongst billions razor blades worldwide! (if indeed this is the case, the UORB Union of overworked razor blades have been doing excellent work in motivating its members and avoiding unhappiness in the ranks).  So, either highly intelligent,co-operative blades, or we have to assume that blade 1 is doing all the work...

Number three is just how many blades are we going to need to get the so called 'perfect shave', and why not simply skip all the blades in between and produce that one straight away? Does it take the numerous professional scientist and designers working at these manufactures ten years to figure out 'Hey, we might be able to add another blade!?' If this is indeed so, how the heck did these dimwits manage to produce these super intelligent razor blades?

Seriously guys & girls, consumerism driven by the drivel of marketing campaigns making use of high profile 'stars' to stuff their pockets has to end somewhere, you might as well start right here. Empower yourself and move over to a sensible, cool way of shaving and save yourself a bundle of money and the environment from loads of un-recyclable plastics, cans and chemical pollutants while doing so.